Acknowledgements

Dear readers,

It's been six months almost to the day since I last blogged. It has been an unplanned, even unacknowledged absence on my part. In fact, I found myself ignoring the blog entirely. Some of you have emailed, posted on the blog’s Facebook wall, tweeted - and nothing in reply. For that, I am sorry. I've thought many times about posting an update of some kind, something - anything to address my silence. To be honest, I just have not been up to the task.

Among other things, I'll be leaving my job at the end of this month. I'm both thrilled and terrified: I don’t exactly know what I’m doing next, but I'll be job hunting and grant-writing (finishing the dissertation is a real item on my agenda) for most of the summer. Without going into too much detail, the job situation has been one of the most paralyzing things about this year, and it’s probably the source of many of the reasons I stopped blogging for a while. I made the decision to leave in November, but I committed myself to finishing the season and finally gave my two-months' notice in April. Guarding that secret so closely for as long as did (in fact, I often wondered if I'd even be brave enough to go through with it) only added to an already stressful job environment. And the job environment was killing me pretty damn quickly. When anger is the most frequent emotion you feel during a work day, it's time for a change. The regular season ended in April and the graduation season only ended last Tuesday, and then I was out sick with a nasty cold for the rest the week. (No coincidence there, I'm sure.) Only this past weekend did I feel like I could actually move on. That I’m ready to move on…

Most importantly, I really feel like doing things again. Starting with blogging.

The blog has been a real conundrum during this whole ordeal. I've worn some killer outfits over the past 6 months and regretted not sharing them with you all. But I also have had a hard time formulating any coherent thought about, well, anything. More and more of my posts from the last year started to sound so manufactured and one-dimensional, and I couldn't find a way to break out of that, especially when I couldn't be open about what was going on in my life anyway. I wanted to share more, but I didn't even know where to begin, and I was terribly afraid of coming across as too negative or even whiny. Not insignificantly, I'd also gained a lot of weight this year (no doubt related to the job stress), and I could no longer bring myself to take pictures of myself every day. Proclaiming self-confidence as a curvy blogger wholovedherbodynomatterwhat would have been an outright lie. And wasn’t that what my proclamation was supposed to be? I didn't know how to reconcile any of it, and blogging itself became a source of stress. So I just…stopped.

I’m sure many of you read Kendi Everyday. Well, her poignant post from a few weeks ago (“Life Lately”) deeply moved me because it hit so close to home. And I’d been struggling with my blogging mission (as I'll call it) too. Why do we blog? How much do and should we share behind the camera lens? Am I being dishonest somehow if I present the perfectly styled portrait of an outfit and only that? What do my readers really want, anyway? Am I a model or a stylist or just a regular person putting herself out there, using her personal style as a vehicle? I'm comforted by the fact that I'm not the only (style) blogger questioning these things lately, and I'm extremely intrigued that so many of us are saying the same thing almost all at the same time. (Courage begets courage!) I'm even more comforted by the warm responses I read on such blog posts - the blogging community truly is a remarkable one. So I think the answers to these questions come down to the first rule of blogging, as I learned it: focus first on the content and your readership will follow; figure out what you want your blog to be and let it be that fully. And then have a little trust...

But the other thing is that honest writing, if that's what is important, is just plain hard, and it’s always risky. This post sure as hell didn't come easily - I've been mulling over it since Saturday! A part of me just wanted to jump right back in with the usual outfit pictures announcing "Hi! I'm back! Here's what I wore on a bunch of random weekend errands! I missed everyone!" But I knew that would not have been complete and therefore not honest, and I found myself really caring about that, regardless of who might be reading the post, or when. It was the choice to either buckle down and take a risk, or continue in the same unfulfilling vein that made me stop blogging in the first place. Write what I actually want to say, or keep hiding and doubting myself.

So the question remains: Why do I blog? I believe my answer is just to connect and to share. And to find a little release.

I don’t know what direction this blog will take (a new title is just one of the ideas I’m tossing around), and I don’t know how often or even how long I’ll continue to blog. I do know that I've been wanting to get back to the kind of freedom I felt when I first started the blog, allowing myself that sense of immediacy and accomplishment that writing about a day (in the life of an outfit?) and hitting "Publish" gives. Yes, there’s something really fulfilling about that.

So if you've made it to the end of this manifesto of sorts, I thank you for connecting with me, for letting me share with you, whoever you are. There's something to be said for having a space to think, write, and share without knowing exactly who (if anyone!) I might be reaching. Anonymity is mixed blessing. And if I have reached or helped you somewhere along the the course of this blog, I am so humbled that I have and so grateful that I can. Your support, encouragement and inspiration has definitely reached me.

Sincerely,
Jessica

P.S. I DO know that I don't intend to stop sharing my style, so how 'bout some outfit pictures, eh? =)

Dragonfly tee - Dorothy Perkins / Denim pencil skirt - Queen Grace (n/a)

Sandals - Christian Siriano for Payless

Ring - The Limited (old) / Earrings - LOFT (old)

Rack It Up

It's early mornings all this week for me. My schedule is usually a second shift kind of thing, but this week I join the ranks of most office folk and actually have to get up early. Blech. This also means I have to go to bed early; a nice idea, but rarely realized. I'm hoping pure exhaustion will force it upon me. Biggest question? Do I get up 30 minutes earlier to do my hair or just throw it up in my usual bouffant 'do? (So far, so good.)

Printed tee - Gap / Denim pencil skirt - Dorothy Perkins / Belt - Kohls / Sandals - Nine West

Ironically, thanks to a serious haul from the Gap sale racks on Monday, the easiest question is what I'm wearing this week. (Yep, all week.)

Ring - Ruche / Earrings - Ruche / Nails - "Cartwheels on the Catwalk" (Sephora by OPI)

Full Sun

Mid-day full sun and 57 degrees called for a happy printed tee, denim pencil skirt and bare knees. I obliged.

Trench Girl Boatneck Tee - LOFT / Denim pencil skirt - Lane Bryant /
Boots - Coconuts via DSW (gifted)  / Handbag - Tano

This adorable printed tee from LOFT is what spurred my recent LOFT purchase. I had to have it! To be honest, I'm not sure how else I'd want to wear it other than with a pencil skirt (jeans and a blazer, maybe? yoga pants, too, of course...) but for its first wearing - j'adore. In an attempt to accessorize a little more, I added an equally sunny belt to bring out more of the color on the tee.

You know what I just realized, though? The reason I probably fell in love with the tee in the first place is because I just want to dress like the girl on it... (Isn't there a psychological term for that?) Can't very well dress like said girl when I'm wearing a screen tee, though, eh?

Ring - Kohl's (gifted) / Earrings - LOFT / Skinny belt - The Limited

Whimsy and Woe

This is [one of] the outfit[s] I wore today. I think I changed about 3 times and still ending up hating it. Okay, maybe "hate" is a strong word, but I just wasn't feeling the owl-tastic whimsy today. I probably didn't execute said whimsy as best I could have, but - meh.

Brown trapeze jacket - Lane Bryant / Owl tee - Old Navy / Gold cami - LOFT / Denim - Lane Bryant /
Necklace - Banana Republic / Purple heels - Nine West

What I'm really here to post about are my eShakti woes. After hearing so many fabulous things about them from all sorts of people, I thought I'd give them a try. I contacted them to see if they would be willing to send me an item gratis to review, and they graciously agreed. However, said item is still on its way to me since I needed to exchange for a different size. What I will say is that garment, albeit too small, is so far pretty nice. Once I get a size that fits, I think it'll be a great addition to my wardrobe, and I hope to share a favorable review when I do. But I'll have to save that review until then, eh?

What I'd like to present today are two items I purchased after I had received the first garment; I got the idea of size, fit, and possible customizations, was at least somewhat encouraged, and so I thought I'd purchase some others. I mean, they seem to have so many highly coveted pieces, and more than a handful quickly made my wishlist, so I wanted to get on that as soon as possible, yaknowwhadaimean? So here is what I purchased:

Crafty Drape Dress

This dress caught my attention the minute it appeared. I loved the colors, the color blocking, the lines, and I thought the asymmetrical hem was a really neat feature that could be flattering and fun. I had it customized to a cap sleeve since I'd probably find a way to cover the arms up anyway. I was pretty darn excited about this dress and couldn't wait to get it.

When it finally arrived during my lunch break yesterday, I hastily opened the package and checked everything out. I wasn't planning to try everything right then and there, but I couldn't wait any longer! Well, the dress is, in a word, a mess. Yes, the colors are great; yes, the lines and blocking are REALLY flattering - the way they move and flow around the body keeps the eye moving and emphasizes a fantastic curve. The dress definitely requires the black belt to help break up the colors (though I thought it could have been bigger/longer), and it does so perfectly without taking away from the overall effect of the lines.

But that black section. Uff-da. I thought it would lay flat and form this nice little side drape. Nope, it is puckered at the hem and protrudes grotesquely from my hip. I couldn't think of a worse feature for this increasingly pear-shaped body of mine, and frankly I don't know how it would work on anyone with hips at all. (But someone please prove me wrong!) The side view is even worse, if possible - the lines point downward calling all sorts of attention to the stomach/butt area. Yikes. The hem itself is also unfinished, and the material is a flimsy, cheap cotton blend - it looks very sloppy and even disjointed from the rest of the otherwise clean lines of the look. It just think this unique feature was not designed and executed as well as it could have been. And that alone negates any other desirable features of the dress.

Bob's reaction to the dress pretty accurately captures my feelings about it as well. When he first saw me in it (he always goes to the boobs first), he ooohed; as his eyes traveled downward, his face started to contort. Exactly.

Blech. I think I blame myself for not knowing my body shape better to talk myself out if it beforehand. Had I found it at a brick and mortar store, it would have certainly been one of the pieces I eagerly took to the fitting room, but I would have immediately vetoed it as soon as I got it on. But therein lies the problem with online shopping. This dress is, needless to say, going back.

Bows & Whistles Skirt

This skirt is just too darn cute and I had to have it. I love the precious little red bows and couldn't wait to wear it with a crisp white shirt, tights and ballet flats. Coming from a girl who almost exclusively wears pencil skirts and heels, I should have seen the red flag right then and there.

I requested a customization to extend the length past the knee and to add pockets. (Yes! Pocketsssss!) It wasn't an option listed on the website, but I included it as a note with the order, so I was thrilled to see that they accommodated my request! The wide, contoured waistband is a nice touch, the material is thick and fully lined - even a little luxe - and the hand embroidery really is darling. However, it became clear to me that full skirts like this are, in my opinion, not meant to be any longer than above-knee. Any longer than that and you just create a marmish, frumpy frock. And so it was.

As you can see, too, the side seams of the skirt are poorly sewn, creating this weird exaggeration of an a-line shape, which is not what I wanted either. It looks like the corners are pinched in, or something. Just bad construction, I think. I briefly thought that maybe I could salvage it by taking in those seams and reworking it into a straight/pencil skirt. (And by "I" I mean a tailor.) See? Better for my shape already.

However, I’m just going return it. Forcing a cutesy pattern like this into a pencil skirt makes it seem even more frumptacular to me, and it doesn't seem at all my style.

I think I’m going to choose for the gift certification option with the return, which gets me 20% more back. This will cover the return shipping fee (a flat $6.50) and will encourage me to give them one more try with something that better suits my shape and style. Like I said, my first garment, full review forthcoming, has quite a bit of promise!

I have learned my lesson.

Live Love Life (A Blogiversary Giveaway!)

I had such a lovely afternoon yesterday. I spent the morning reading blogs and online shopping in my pajamas, then I managed to get dressed and took a leisurely bike ride downtown to grab a latte and some lunch. It's been unseasonally warm these days, so I had to revert to summer dressing tactics. Cuffed skinnies were going to be the anchor of the outfit, as would be one of my new screen tees. Given what a great day I was having, I thought the message of "Life Love Life" was appropriate, too. =) I didn't want to just wear the tee on its own, however (zzzzzz), so I layered it with this thin short-sleeved open cardigan.

"Live Love Life" tee - Old Navy / Open cardigan - Maurices / Dark skinnies - Gap /
Necklace - Gifted / Sandals - Nine West

Turquoise jewerly looks so great against brown that was an easy choice for a little more color, and my comfy new sandals were the final touch. It was a little odd biking in these high wedges, but I managed. =)

Ring - Banana Republic / Earrings - Maurices

While downtown, I decided to pop into our local Ten Thousand Villages, a shop I love to visit for beautiful, unique and - best of all - fair trade jewelry. (They have loads of other items too, but I'm sucker for their jewelry.) I've found some really great pieces over the years, and I decided I would shop specifically for - get ready for it - a giveaway for you lovely readers! Let's call it a belated blogiversary giveaway, shall we? (I started blogging a year ago September 14th!) Even better, I picked up not one, but two unique pieces, so they'll be a second giveaway tomorrow!

The first prize is this gorgeous "Treasure Trove Necklace" made from golden "coins" and handcrafted in India.

I love the multiple stamped metal discs, the way it fills the neckline, and the mellow musical sound it makes when you move. In a brassy gold hue, it's a great neutral necklace that can punch up any outfit, whether casual or dressy.

Here we go! The mandatory entry requirement is as follows:

1. Be a follower of Surely Sonsy and leave a comment indicating how you follow (GFC username/email address, Bloglovin', Google Reader,  etc.).
2. Tell me how you would style the necklace in your comment!

For extra entries, please leave a separate comment for each of the following (1 extra entry each):

1. Like Surely Sonsy on Facebook and leave a comment with your FB address. (You can email it to me if you don't want to leave it here.)
2. Follow @shessica17 on twitter and TWEET about the giveaway. Be sure to include your twitter name in your comment!
3. Blog about the giveaway OR post about it on Facebook with a link back to this post! Be sure to include the link to your post in your comment!

Four chances to win! This giveaway is open to US readers only (sorry, dear international readers), and will be open until 11:59pm (Central time) on Saturday, October 15. Good luck!

A Rose by Any Other Name

I've been on a screen tee kick lately. Ever since this post by Ariana a couple weeks ago, all I could think about was adding more screen tees to my wardrobe and wearing them with (ponte) pencil skirts as often as possible. (And I have - just, you know, off-blog... =7)

Tresor top - LucieLu / Black blazer - Lane Bryant / Flare jeans - Lane Bryant

But they look fabulous with jeans and a blazer too, especially the best jeans on earth. I'd been eying this particularly fabulous rose print top by LucieLu for awhile, and finally snagged it during her recent sale. (It's still available in a 1X!) The material is so comfy, with super flattering/camouflaging ruching at the bottom. It's a bit long, but the ruching makes the length more or less adjustable. I must admit that I've worn this outfit a few times - once for a quick day trip up to Chicago, once for a dinner date with Bob and again today for a casual day of work. It's certainly become a night-out staple, anyway.

Handbag - Furla (via Filene's Basement) / Shoes - "Nacia" (Nine West) / Earrings -  Lane Bryant  (?)

And these shoes! During an earlier Chicago day trip, we stopped into a Nine West and I tried these babies on. I'd been looking for the perfect strappy wedge sandal for a while, so you can imagine my delight when the store not only had them in my desired size (big ol' 11) and color (natural), but that they had them in black and brown too! Oh, and they were 75% off, bringing them to about $25 each. Mine, mine and mine. I even hunted down a minty green one online, I loved them so much. (Yes, you read that right; I now own four pairs of these lovlies.) They comfortably hug my wide feet, and thanks to the wedge they can go a whole day running around. They're definitely my new go-to sandal for whatever warm-weather days we have left and  many a summer season to come.

Face Time

I can't remember the last time I didn't have to work an event on Friday night. (Mind you, I'll be working both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon...) So I took advantage of a truly casual Friday, and I had a little fun with it!

Black jacket - Maurices / face graphic tee - LOFT / Leopard print ponte knit skirt - Lane Bryant /
Pink tights - Lane Bryant / Black boots  - Nine West "Onthemoon" (via Endless.com)

I just love a graphic tee, don't you? They can do such unique things for outfits.

I wanted to try styling up my new black boots again, and though I stayed with a mainly black color palate, I dressed it up with a printed pencil skirt (tweed and pinstriped were also early options), this cute graphic tee, and - oh yeah - bright pink tights! I've actually done a graphic tee with this pencil skirt before (another face tee, too!), but not like this! When I remembered that I had these super colorful tights that I hadn't yet worn, and that they matched the pink lips in the tee so perfectly, I knew I scored! 

I initially thought I'd rock my fuchsia Gustto with this outfit, but it was totally a pink overkill at that point. Instead, I pulled out this two-toned metallic Tano I had (and sadly rarely wear) to have at least one neutral accessory,  which even pulls out some of the grey tones in the tee. Can you believe I hesitated at first because I thought it was too small? Sure you can... =D

Handbag - Tano "Twiggy"

But I did add just one more pink accent with these pink stone earrings!

Hammered metal disc ring - The Limited / Pink stone earrings - New York & Co.

New Boots!

Okay, so I thought I'd post this - even though the pics aren't great - just because I love these freakin' boots so darn much and I MUST share my joy (and a little review). I found these babies, the Ciao Bella Thebatta, at the DSW in Indy during my shopping trip last weekend, but I had to order them online to get an extended calf.They came yesterday...

First of all, I was thrilled to have been able to check out a few styles all at once. I seriously had 8 pairs of boots next to me at DSW, and though I'm a huge fan of online shopping (and I have no problems returning things that don't work), sometimes it's so much more efficient to be able to see and compare and try on all at once - especially when it comes to something as tricky as the perfect boots. 

I will of course state that, as a curvy girl, I have trouble finding boots that fit my calves. I've certainly had a surprising amount of good luck, too, but after searching for months (like, since last fall), I still hadn't found the boot that fit five criteria: flat heel, some but minimal detail, a rich but neutral color (like a taupe or cognac), riding boot style, and hit just below my knees. I think that's everyone's criteria this season, really. (And the OTK thing is just not for me.) So I cannot TELL you how giddy I am about these boots. Perfect rich brown, nice comfortable flat, almond toe, and they hit right at my sweet spot below my knee. I even like the asymmetry at the top of the shaft, as I think it does nice things to flatter my wider calves. 

The only thing I don't love about them is the back zip. I think in general a back zip is harder to maneuver than a side zip, especially for us girls with larger calves. I've been able to finagle loads of boots with a normal calf width up my legs when they had a side zip, even with jeans on. So even these, which do claim to have an "extended calf width" were troublesome. But, I did get them on - first just over bare legs - and I kept them on for a few hours to help stretch them out. Then later that evening, when the BF and I decided to go out for a casual bite to eat, and I knew I had to debut these babies over skinnies, they actually zipped up fine and off we went.

Tan corduroy blazer - LOFT / Face tee - LOFT / Pink hoodie - Banana Republic / Dark skinnies - Gap / Earrings - Dress Barn (??) / Ring - Banana Republic

Of course, I'm also pretty stoked about the rest of my ensemble - the corduroy jacket is new, as is the fun face tee. I put these two together, but thought I'd add this bright pink hoodie, which I wear all the freaking time while lounging at home, to add a pop of color and to bring out the purty lips on the tee. Not gonna lie - I felt pretty fantastic. I'm totally working this causal layering thing...


Oh, and I FREAKING LOVE THESE BOOTS! =7 And DSW.

Spot On

I just thought of about 5 different ways to begin this post.  (I guess I opted for full disclosure, in lieu of substance.) I do tend to lean toward a stream of consciousness style of writing. I'm also, as a friend recently commented, onomatopoeic. Whether I'm writing a blog post, an email to a friend, or a dissertation chapter; whether I writing about what I'm wearing, how I feel or what I think, I try to mimic the sound of the spoken word in whatever it is that comes to my head at that moment.

I ramble musically?

I'm extraordinarily tired today. The kind of tired that results in waterworks at only remotely sentimental commercials or movie scenes. It's 11pm and I'm still up doing various and sundry things, nothing nearly important as, say - oh, the October staff schedule that I've been meaning to get out since Monday. (But I'm at home, dammit - no work at home!)  I'll start getting ready for bed here in a minute, but no doubt I'll lie awake for a few hours before I do fall asleep, and probably a crappy sleep at that.  This has been going on for about a week.  I'd like two days off in row so I can recuperate, but I'm not sure when that will happen. The busy season is upon us... Where did summer go, again?

I'm grateful at least that our apartment is clean.  Cleanliness is next to godliness - or, at least, sanity. If the place was in an state of disaster, I would be even more of a disaster.

But enough moodiness....



I found a new location to take pictures! And I found a setting that TAKES better pictures! So many fashion blogs I'm reading have impeccable photography, making me realize I'm SO out of my league! Maybe that's why I'm making up for it my prose? Meh? Well, my pics will never be fantastic with a Nikon Coolpix, let alone on the self-timer mode that keeps focusing the picture at my waistline. Uffda. (That's Norwegian for "oi vey.") But, it does serve its purpose.

So I opted for a wee bit of edgy today - a graphic tee, printed pencil skirt and jacket. It's actually nothing like my usual style, but that's exactly why I wanted to try it. I've been WANTING to edge up my look a bit, add a little more funk to the feminine. I dunno if I'm quite there yet or will ever be there, but here's tryin'!

White short-sleeve jacket - The Limited
graphic tee - NY&Co
Ponte knit skirt - Lane Bryant
black t-strap sandals - Banana Rebublic

Speaking of that skirt, it. is. the most comfortable. skirt. ever. I could sleep in this thing. I'm a new fan of ponte knit. The animal print of it is a bit out of my comfort zone - I typically avoid them...though as I write this I'm mentally counting all the animal print pieces in my wardrobe...Huh.  Bombshells Beauty's review of this skirt is spot on (no pun intended), though - it's a substantial pattern on its own, but not too overwhelming that it can't play well with other prints. That's why I was so keen to try it with graphic tees, and this one long hanging in my closet was the exact one I wanted to try. I like the play on black, white and grey - with just a little pop of red.

I'll just say what you're thinking, though - the eyes are on my boobs!  Yep, didn't really notice how blatant that was until I took these pictures.  I'm not yet sure if this is just fun or borderline obscene. Thoughts?

For accessories, I kept them simple and silver. I wanted to keep the outfit's focus on its prints!

Sterling silver flower ring - TJ Maxx
Silver.circle earrings - The Limited

What kinds of graphic tees are in your closet? How do you like to style them?