Rotational Pull

So my new favorite thing to wear on slightly cooler days has involved variations on the following combination: cardigan, blousey patterned top, belt, favorite denim, wedge sandals. It's seriously the perfect combination of feminine meets comfortable. And with my midsection being what it is these says, I'm grateful for the the stylish camouflage!

Cardigan - LOFT / Top - Land's End via Gwynnie Bee / Denim - Lane Bryant
Sandals - Nine West / Handbag - Ruche

Necklace - Old Navy (?) / Ring - Ruche / Earrings - LOFT / Belt - Eloquii (part of different top)

The top, of course, is yet another "rental" from Gwynnie Bee. I don't think I would have purchased the top online on its own, and probably would not have bothered even trying it on in the store if I had come upon it. But it's a sweet little piece that I was glad to put in my closet rotation for a while! Reason #17215679 why I don't think I could live without my Gwynnie Bee subscription! The offer still stands for you to try out a month for free yourself!

In other news, a month has FLOWN by in my new-old life as a PhD student. It's been great to get back into the classroom, actually. It feels so natural and comfortable that I couldn't help but notice that my stress levels have diminished significantly. In some ways I've been having an identity crisis, however. Going from a titled position of relative "power" (not to mention a bigger paycheck and better benefits - boy do I miss my FSA) to the somewhat heedless life of a grad student and teaching assistant? Gah, I feel lost. But it's a means to an end, as I keep telling myself. Get this dissertation written so I can move on with my life and really make a dent in my career aspirations. And maybe, finally, settle down with a wedding and (gasp) kids! But having time (read: evenings and weekends) to myself again has been wonderful. I've even found my way back to the gym, and we're eating much healthier meals on a much more regular basis. Change really is good...

Acknowledgements

Dear readers,

It's been six months almost to the day since I last blogged. It has been an unplanned, even unacknowledged absence on my part. In fact, I found myself ignoring the blog entirely. Some of you have emailed, posted on the blog’s Facebook wall, tweeted - and nothing in reply. For that, I am sorry. I've thought many times about posting an update of some kind, something - anything to address my silence. To be honest, I just have not been up to the task.

Among other things, I'll be leaving my job at the end of this month. I'm both thrilled and terrified: I don’t exactly know what I’m doing next, but I'll be job hunting and grant-writing (finishing the dissertation is a real item on my agenda) for most of the summer. Without going into too much detail, the job situation has been one of the most paralyzing things about this year, and it’s probably the source of many of the reasons I stopped blogging for a while. I made the decision to leave in November, but I committed myself to finishing the season and finally gave my two-months' notice in April. Guarding that secret so closely for as long as did (in fact, I often wondered if I'd even be brave enough to go through with it) only added to an already stressful job environment. And the job environment was killing me pretty damn quickly. When anger is the most frequent emotion you feel during a work day, it's time for a change. The regular season ended in April and the graduation season only ended last Tuesday, and then I was out sick with a nasty cold for the rest the week. (No coincidence there, I'm sure.) Only this past weekend did I feel like I could actually move on. That I’m ready to move on…

Most importantly, I really feel like doing things again. Starting with blogging.

The blog has been a real conundrum during this whole ordeal. I've worn some killer outfits over the past 6 months and regretted not sharing them with you all. But I also have had a hard time formulating any coherent thought about, well, anything. More and more of my posts from the last year started to sound so manufactured and one-dimensional, and I couldn't find a way to break out of that, especially when I couldn't be open about what was going on in my life anyway. I wanted to share more, but I didn't even know where to begin, and I was terribly afraid of coming across as too negative or even whiny. Not insignificantly, I'd also gained a lot of weight this year (no doubt related to the job stress), and I could no longer bring myself to take pictures of myself every day. Proclaiming self-confidence as a curvy blogger wholovedherbodynomatterwhat would have been an outright lie. And wasn’t that what my proclamation was supposed to be? I didn't know how to reconcile any of it, and blogging itself became a source of stress. So I just…stopped.

I’m sure many of you read Kendi Everyday. Well, her poignant post from a few weeks ago (“Life Lately”) deeply moved me because it hit so close to home. And I’d been struggling with my blogging mission (as I'll call it) too. Why do we blog? How much do and should we share behind the camera lens? Am I being dishonest somehow if I present the perfectly styled portrait of an outfit and only that? What do my readers really want, anyway? Am I a model or a stylist or just a regular person putting herself out there, using her personal style as a vehicle? I'm comforted by the fact that I'm not the only (style) blogger questioning these things lately, and I'm extremely intrigued that so many of us are saying the same thing almost all at the same time. (Courage begets courage!) I'm even more comforted by the warm responses I read on such blog posts - the blogging community truly is a remarkable one. So I think the answers to these questions come down to the first rule of blogging, as I learned it: focus first on the content and your readership will follow; figure out what you want your blog to be and let it be that fully. And then have a little trust...

But the other thing is that honest writing, if that's what is important, is just plain hard, and it’s always risky. This post sure as hell didn't come easily - I've been mulling over it since Saturday! A part of me just wanted to jump right back in with the usual outfit pictures announcing "Hi! I'm back! Here's what I wore on a bunch of random weekend errands! I missed everyone!" But I knew that would not have been complete and therefore not honest, and I found myself really caring about that, regardless of who might be reading the post, or when. It was the choice to either buckle down and take a risk, or continue in the same unfulfilling vein that made me stop blogging in the first place. Write what I actually want to say, or keep hiding and doubting myself.

So the question remains: Why do I blog? I believe my answer is just to connect and to share. And to find a little release.

I don’t know what direction this blog will take (a new title is just one of the ideas I’m tossing around), and I don’t know how often or even how long I’ll continue to blog. I do know that I've been wanting to get back to the kind of freedom I felt when I first started the blog, allowing myself that sense of immediacy and accomplishment that writing about a day (in the life of an outfit?) and hitting "Publish" gives. Yes, there’s something really fulfilling about that.

So if you've made it to the end of this manifesto of sorts, I thank you for connecting with me, for letting me share with you, whoever you are. There's something to be said for having a space to think, write, and share without knowing exactly who (if anyone!) I might be reaching. Anonymity is mixed blessing. And if I have reached or helped you somewhere along the the course of this blog, I am so humbled that I have and so grateful that I can. Your support, encouragement and inspiration has definitely reached me.

Sincerely,
Jessica

P.S. I DO know that I don't intend to stop sharing my style, so how 'bout some outfit pictures, eh? =)

Dragonfly tee - Dorothy Perkins / Denim pencil skirt - Queen Grace (n/a)

Sandals - Christian Siriano for Payless

Ring - The Limited (old) / Earrings - LOFT (old)

Classic Mustard

Navy and mustard. Striped tee and pencil skirt. Boots and jacket. Classic combinations that always work.

Ring - Ruche / Necklace - Banana Republic (eBayed) / Earrings - Ruche

I've been through three yellow pencil skirts now, and this Lane Bryant one is by far the best. It's their classic ponte pencil skirt that I wish they would stock year round in all manner of seasonal colors. (Still looking for a pumpkin orange one!) This one came in yellow, red, teal and black and - wouldn't you know it - I bought it in all of the three colors. (I most certainly don't need another black one.) Length, color and fit is perfect on all three!

Striped top - Banana Republic / Denim jacket - Theory (eBayed) / Pencil skirt - Lane Bryant /
Boots - Ciao Bella (via DSW)

I think this was my first boot wearing for the season, too. It felt wonderful to finally break them about again - as if they were the true herald of autumn. (Aside from that whole leaves thing, anyway.) I had to polish 'em up, but they're still in pretty good shape. I was afraid I'd need to replace them after wearing them out during last fall's Boston trip, but I think I can get at least another year out of them!

I can't believe that Boston trip was almost a year ago already. We won't be able to make the trip again this year, which saddens me a bit, but I am looking forward to spending more time at home for the fall break. That's right, a week of vacation time, staring NEXT WEEK! Time to organize the chaos that is my jewelry collection, hang Christmas decor, make lots of crock pot recipes (the goal for most of the winter, as it happens), and - oh yeah - gorge ourselves on turkey, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, stuffing... Bring on the holidays!

Handbag - Steve Madden

Print Cue

I'm desperately trying to clear out my backlog of all the obviously pre-fall pictures. The green grass and lush trees are sad reminders of a season that no longer is. Well, actually, I really don't mind that autumn is in full force and that the holiday season is well on its way. I just gotta get caught up, is all!

I'd like to think that the color palette of this outfit is inspired by a pimento olive somewhat autumnal, anyway. After falling head-over-heels with this SWAK top (first worn here), I knew I'd need to find layering options for it to be worn in cooler weather. A new infinity scarf in a cheerful print helped pave the way.

Cropped jacket - Maurices / Mia top - SWAK / Jeans - Lane Bryant /
Handbag - Tano / Sandals - Nine West

Ring - Ruche / Scarf - Anthropologie / Earrings - Ruche

That's right, all color cues were taken right from the scarf itself. As it was a new item in my closet, I desperately wanted to wear it, like, immediately, so I set about building an outfit around it. The SWAK top was basically meant to be worn with it, and my oft-worn cropped olive jacket was an equally destined topper. When in doubt, follow the print!

Hat in Hand

Major coup at work: negotiated having every Monday off! Brilliant! I don't know why it took me so long to think to ask for this schedule. I mean, more often than not I'm working the weekends anyway (and 50+ hrs/wk), and I would typically take the following Monday off so that I could have some kind of weekend. So now it's just part of my standard schedule, and I couldn't be happier! And as I get ready to dive into the busiest week of the semester, I couldn't be more grateful...

Mia Top - SWAK / Jeans - Lane Bryant / Hat - Urban Outfitters / Handbag - Ruche /
Sandals - Nine West

Thanks for everyone's thoughtful comments on my journey back into teaching last week, too. It went really, really well! I thought there were a few issues - pace, probably should have just used the classroom microphone rather than insisting I could speak loud enough over the music - but all in all I thought I covered the material well and kept the students engaged. It was a wonderful if scary feeling to be in front of a classroom again, especially with material that I didn't feel as comfortable with anymore, but it many ways it was just like getting back on a bicycle. I didn't end up wearing a wrap dress, by the way, but a great little pencil skirt and printed top ensemble that I hope to share with you next week. (I'm getting so much closer to being caught up!)

Ring - Banana Republic (eBayed) / Necklace - c/o Kiyonna / Earrings - Ruche

This outfit, worn quite a few weeks ago now (when the leaves hadn't yet fallen and I was still semi-obsessed with this hat) feels like a great way to start of the week, though. My perfect, favorite jeans paired with my now favorite top from SWAK. In fact, I warned (myself?) when I wore the coral version a few weeks prior that I would have to get the black and don the hat. Between those two tops, my best jeans and that hat, this was probably one of my most-worn outfits to close out the summer.

Top It Off

I turned on the heat in the apartment today. I feel it is far too soon for such an action, but the below-freezing overnight temps convinced me otherwise. I'm just not ready for this yet! Give the lovely temperate briskness of autumn its due! The temps are supposed to return to more seasonal levels later this week, so until then I'll reminisce (read: catch up) with even warmer weather outfits, such as this one.

Mia Top - Sealed with a Kiss Designs / Jeans - Lane Bryant / Sandals - Nine West

The top is actually my first purchase from Sealed with a Kiss. I'd been browsing their site for some time, but never felt up to a purchase until settling on this cute little top. It's nice and long, has a flattering neckline and elasticized waistband, and presents lots of possibilities for layering options yet this fall. I'm also a fan of its elbow-length sleeves, of course. It's definitely not made to be tucked in, and its length is proportionally too long for any skirt of mine, but I could see topping it with a belt if desired. (And I'm sure I will desire.) Jeans - skinny or flare - are this top's best friend. The colors it comes in are wonderfully cheery - summery turquoise, yellow and coral - and a black option (which I also got) makes it a great basic.

Ring & necklace - Banana Republic / Earrings - The Limited

Though I'd worn my hair down here, this outfit is also one of my favorites to wear with my straw fedora (first/last seen here), snapped ala Instagram with one of my admittedly multiple wearings. Now that I think of it, I wanna wear the black one with the hat next!

Handbag - Coach (gifted)

Something Blue

My Thursday nights have become jam packed with TV shows these days. Grey's Anatomy (uh, the most depressing season ever so far - and that's saying something), Glee (another show I keep watching despite better judgement, even though tonight's cover of No Doubt's "Don't Speak" was pretty awesome) and Project Runway (I think I watch mainly to follow along with Tom & Lorenzo's recaps) keep me unproductive and up late. I'm lucky if I manage to clean the kitchen after dinner! I mean, priorities, people.

And I gotsta catch up on my posts! It's a little anticlimactic when you go two weeks (or so...) before you get to write about a day in a life of an outfit. (Ooh, that sounds like a fabulous blog name.) This outfit, for example, was worn on one of the hotter days of the summer and, uh, that's about all I can remember. BUT BUT! The tank I scored on mega-sale at Banana Republic! And it's cute and fitted and it was just the thing for a casual summer day.

Ring  and Earrings - Ruche

It was also one of the many outfits in the past few weeks that have resurrected my love of these jeans. Other than the nastiness of hot summer days, I'm not sure why I've practically demoted them to the dark recesses of my closet. Like they weren't special enough, or something. The thing is, they fit like a freakin' dream and make me feel good no matter what I wear them with. I thought a few times of getting a new pair for the sake of something new, but then I realized that I couldn't possibly find anything better than these. I'm not at all sure why it's taken me so long to realize that.

Cardiwrap - Maurices / Henley tank - Banana Repulblic / Jeans - Lane Bryant /
Sandals - Nine West /Handbag - Banana Republic

Both bank account and self-confidence thank thee. And the many fabulous fall outfits to come.

Okay, okay - I'll go clean the kitchen now.

Summer Lull

Summer brings so much laziness I can't even tell you. It brings many more days of unwashed hair, many days of outfits repeated in entirety or really just outfits comprised of pieces I only threw on so I wouldn't go out naked. I'm not even talking about the hot topic of "blog-worthy" - it's more, I'm barely tolerating this outfit and plan to change immediately into yoga pants and a tank as soon as I get home. And then there's the sitting down to edit/choose pictures and write. Clearly, I'm uninspired... Lately I'd rather spend the evening prepping my mise en place for dinner. (A rather relaxing activity, actually.) And then eating it. And then cuddling in my favorite chair or in bed with the Kindle I got Bob for his birthday. (I may have re-appropriated it.) Yep, that's my summer modus operandi, for better or worse.

But when I do put on clothes that I love and don't mind braving the sweltering heat for a round of pictures, this is it. It's definitey on the dressier side of my summer attire, though. My preference for maxi dresses as summer casual wear has already been well-documented, and a few cute little summer dresses have also made their way into my wardrobe, but they've yet to be photographed. (Laziness.) Ironically, this outfit would be on the casual side during the regular season. Such is the way of summer in the performing arts world...

Top - Dorothy Perkins / Denim pencil skirt - Dorothy Perkins / Sandals - Bandolino

I've had the top for a while, photographed ever-so-fleetingly a la Instagram quite some time ago. (Think I wore it with skinnies at the time.) Pastel birds make for a rather tricky print to wear without being too kitchy, though. Or elderly. Thank goodness for accessories and a denim pencil skirt. And purple. Of course, I love all the colors in the top - I'm pretty sure I have a pencil skirt in every single one, but lest I look like an Easter egg, I must choose carefully. Purple and maybe coral will be my first two once the season begins...

Clutch - eloquii / Necklace - The Limited / Earrings - The Limited / Ring - Ruche / Belt - The Limited

"Once the season begins." I find myself saying that a lot with potential outfits lately. This is rather revelatory in how I view my style during the course of the year: totally dispensable in the summer; center stage (no pun intended) during fall/winter/spring. During the summer, I see no one except a few office mates, and I rarely work an evening event. The idea of going to work on a muggy 97° day in a lined pencil skirt and killer heels, laden with accessories, makes me sweat just thinking about it. (Even though a pencil skirt is clearly my strike zone when trying to dress my body well.)  But it's summer. I'm, like, off-duty. Where the blog is concerned, this means far fewer posts, even though I have much more leisure time to write them. During the season, I have far less time to post, but I have far more to show and tell.  I'm constantly "on" - always dressing to be seen by a lobby full of patrons, bosses and even the occasional artist.  Working harder to look better pays off more. And there it is.

I'm clearly self-conscious about this, though, aren't I? Maybe I should just let it be how it is. At least for as long as I have this particular job, anyway...

Regalia

Of all the maxi dresses I've recently acquired, this one is my favorite. I liked the fit of its printed cousin so much that I couldn't help trying it on in purple on a subsequent store visit. I nabbed it as quickly the checkout line would let me. The regal, solid color flows over my curves with ease, making me look (and feel) like a tall drink of...grape juice? Welch's grape juice, of course.

Drawstring maxi - Old Navy / Denim jacket - Theory (eBayed) / Sandals - Old Navy

Soft, pretty draping in a rich, vibrant color is always good thing, anyway. Especially when it's as comfortable as this maxi is. I shan't lie: I've worn this outfit at least three more times after these pictures were taken. That's almost, like, daily.

Handbag - Coach (gifted)

I know that I've copped out and topped it with my denim jacket again. It was a cooler day, though, and the denim gave just the right casual vibe I was wanting. Plus, I really love the combination of blue and purple, so much so that I'm now desperately searching for a great navy cardigan. (Yes, believe it or not I don't have one.)

Ring - Ruche (gifted) / Earrings - Anthropologie /
Ginko and Gunmetal necklace - chrdesigns on Etsy

Around the Block

So I do have another maxi dress outfit to share, but I thought I'd interrupt the maxi-mania with not only more pencil skirt love, but bright yellow and happy green color-blocking love. (Also, I can't seem to not wear this denim jacket now. You've been warned.)

Denim jacket - Theory (eBayed) / Green tank - Old Navy / Skirt - Talbots / Belt - LOFT
Handbag - Urban Outfitters / Shoes - Bandolino "Moderngirl" (Endless)

It should not be surprising, but I'd been contemplating (read: obsessing over) the idea of a yellow pencil skirt for a little while now. I mean, 1) it's a pencil skirt and 2) it's yellow. I figured experimenting with brighter colors would be a good way to wear the wardrobe staple in summer off-season - having more fun with them than I might during the regular season. I liked all the bright color blocking I've been seeing on Pinterest and various blogs, too, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to try my own hand at it. Pretty much love it.

Lemony yellow meets kelly green, who run into summer white for a day of colorific fun. Sounds like a good short story. Maybe? Title forthcoming.

Ring - Trina Turk for Banana Republic / Earrings - Banana Republic